If you’re a Single, Christian adult woman and you’ve had sex out of wedlock, chances are, you’ve felt guilty about it. I know I have. But is that old fashioned thinking? Not to the some folks on social media who came after Gospel singer Christine Vest. She recently made headlines for firing back at those social media critics who chastised her for having a baby out of wedlock (the father happens to be NBA Houston Rockets star Dwight Howard).
Here is some of what Christine had to say in response on her Instagram page:
“I’m sorry, but I just have to address all… people.. that consider “having a child out of wedlock” a “sin”. Having fornication is the sin, people. FORNICATION.”
S&LF spoke exclusively to Christine about the social media fall out, dealing with the guilt/shame she felt about being a single mother, and her thoughts on whether single women should be having sex in the first place.
S&LF: What kind of comments were you getting from people in social media in response to being pregnant out of wedlock?
CV: When it first came out (Via Royce Reed, smh) that I had a child, I got both positive and negative responses. From the people who knew a little bit about me, such as youtube followers, I got pretty much all positive and encouraging responses. A few people sent ridiculous comments about being Dwights “umpteenth” baby mama but I expected that.
S&LF: Were you surprised by the comments or did you anticipate them, given the nature of social media?
CV: Twitter was the worst. But I knew it would be bad. Hiding behind a computer screen gives you a tremendous amount of courage and ignorant people use that to try to tear people down.
S&LF: Why did you feel the need to respond publicly?
CV: Well after wearing a sweatshirt that seemed to offend the majority of “Laker nation” I started to receive backlash about being a Christian and having a baby. They kept saying things like “how can you call yourself a Christian and have a baby out of wedlock” and call me mean names that I wont even repeat. So I wanted to set the record straight because some people really think that the miracle of a child growing inside of an unmarried person is a sin. Which is not true. Fornication, which in some cases produces a child, is a sin, so if you fornicate, you really cant talk.
S&LF: Did you get similar flack from people in you inner circle and/or the church community?
CV: People in my church community were very loving and understanding because they know that we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. True Christians understand that repentance is between you and God.
S&LF: In your post you said,”Having a child out of wedlock is not a sin, fornication is the sin.” What advice would you give to women who feel ashamed for being single mothers?
CV: Oh my goodness. I totally understand the shame that comes with your sins being on display for everyone to see! I basically hid in a shell my entire pregnancy partly because of that. God knows my heart and He knows I don’t want to take part in leading anyone down the wrong path by maybe feeling like fornication is ok and I felt that by getting pregnant, I had. I was very ashamed. However, God says that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So once I repented I had to realize I was FORGIVEN. So if we are cleansed from our unrighteousness, through Him, we should not hold on to shame or guilt anymore. My advice would be to get on your knees and pray to God to forgive you for your sin and help you to turn away from those sins.
S&LF: Is it a realistic expectation for Christian single women not to have sex? What about women who have no interest in marriage?
CV: It is so hard, but it is definitely possible. It doesn’t matter if it is “realistic” to the world today, because honestly the world would say ITS NOT. However, greater is He who is in thee than he who is in the world. That means, God will give you a way out of any temptation and give you strength to overcome it if you let Him. My best friend and her husband were virgins when they got married a little over a year ago. It is possible. For women who have no interest in marriage, I’m sorry, but 1) 100% of christian couples would tell you, you are MISSING OUT and 2) the rule still applies. Fornication is fornication.
S&LF: What is your interpretation of what the Bible says about premarital sex?
CV: It’s very clear. Fornication is a sin and the bible says those who commit that and other sins will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. (Galatians 5:19-21) That’s why repentance is necessary.
S&LF: Do you feel pressure to marry now that you have a child?
CV: Sometimes I do, but not because I want everything to look right to the public, but because honestly, not fornicating is hard. Lol. However, I don’t want to get married for that simple fact either. So, mostly, no pressure.
S&LF: Were you angry, disappointed or upset with yourself for having sex out of wedlock?
CV: Yes I was. All I’ve ever wanted to do was help people and please God, and somewhere in the course of my life i got side tracked and put myself in dumb situations. I wish I could have been a virgin on my wedding night, but with my testimony, hopefully I can help the next young girl and prevent her from making the same mistakes.
S&LF: Will you wait until you are married to have sex again?
CV: Absolutely!
S&LF: What advice would you give to Christian woman struggle with whether to have sex while dating?
CV: If you are a christian, the Lord says, if you love Me then keep My commandments. If you truly love the Lord, you will deny yourself that short pleasure until you stand before God on your wedding day and make it official. With that being said, obviously, were human and all our flesh wants to do is disobey God! I get it, but God will NEVER leave you nor forsake you and He will always provide a way out of temptation! Be strong, ladies! Trust that God will take care of all of your needs and desires and bring you a man that will respect you enough to wait. Hopefully he will be God-fearing and want to wait with you!
12 Comments
I pray you’re FREE now regardless of what anyone says about you, what does God say? He knows your heart and you have repented to Him and Him only because He is God and God alone. You owe no one an explanation of your actions. That is between you and God. Your child is a “present,” and the sin is in your “past.”
Thank you that you shared your experience and testimony so that hopefully ones will read it and instead desire to take another route.
May God Continue To Bless You…
This is so unfortunate. Another example of a a sinner acting as if what they are doing is “acceptable”. As a Christian, especially if in the public eye, you have a DUTY to be mindful of your actions as you represent the body of Christ.
It’s funny how people always bring up the whole “you can’t say anything unless you’re a virgin/don’t judge me” argument. Calling out sin is not “judging”. Even Nathan called King David out for having his way with Bathsheba. The Bible calls us to correct one another, so she shouldn’t feel like people are bashing her – Christine’s actions were wrong, plain & simple.
I think instead of defending her sin, Christine should use her voice as a platform to preach ABSTINENCE. Tell young people “DON’T DO WHAT I DID”. Single parenthood is nothing to be “okay” with. Every child deserves to have 2 parents in the same home & statistically speaking it is never in the best interest of the child.
When will we learn (especially as a woman of color)? Not making us look good at all…
@ChocolateVent u must not have read the interview because it is pretth clear that she HAS asked Repented and turned from her sins. If you werent wathing people in twitter bash her, it was NASTY. It was not a “christian rebuking”. And besides, why judge and rebuke someone who has ALREADY repented from there sins? That makes no sense. You want to rebuke her until YOU feel she has been thoroughly rebuked? Lol. Read a bible, sweety. Yo dont know what she has been through. The baby is 6/7 months by now that means she got pregnant like wel over a year ago but you think someone should still rebuke her? Wrong. And again, you must not have read the article because shd IS preaching abstince, she just didnt say that word. She said wait u til marriage, suh. You are slow
Well she says she has repented which is good but have you seen a pic she posted on her ig about a girl saying only God can judge her and Him responding with but you are a whore? She also needs to read her bible.
She puts a picture of a girl doing a selfie pic. Same things she do. She judge everyone. Can tell by ig pics, even the deleted pics.
What gives any person christian or not the right to judge anyone else? We are all sinners. Frankly, it is no ones business what goes on behind close doors that is between her and the creator. PERIOD!
Isn’t she living with Dwight in Houston? So, are we supposed to believe that she is shacking with him without fornication? The truth is she sold her soul for an NBA payday.
Considering the number of confirmed ‘baby mamas’, Dwight obviously likes unprotected sex with many women. She could have protected her health by making him wear condoms. She is fortunate that the only thing that she got from him was a baby.
She is clueless, and she thinks we are equally as clueless. I hope this works out for her and her baby as she waits for him to make her his wife.
Sure she says that she has no pressure to marry. However, most women do not move in with men with the hopes of staying single.
It’s interesting that Dwight keeps her and the baby as his guarded secret. She mentions him on her social media regularly. Yet, he doesn’t mention her on his accounts. If it wasn’t for TMZ and Royce Reed, most people would not have known about her.
As reckless as Dwight is with his sexual encounters, something tells me that this will not end well. I guess we will have to stay tuned.
Christine, why did you chase after him on Twitter and not go after a Virgin man?
Why aren’t you telling the truth? That’s what you want to do, so you feel better about yourself and mess up Dwight’s life more? You failed to mention you want kids, you want babies. Babies turn into adults.
Your ig photos show you are pressuring him to marry you. Why should he? You just talked bad about him on Single and Living Fab. Why not a Christian media site? Cuz you a joke?
Why can’t you admit your guilt and reasons for chasing after him and staying with him knowing he is seeing other women? You say you wanted this with the Lord yet your actions show you want fame and fortune no matter what.
No one would know you did this if you did not tell someone to post it in gossip site talk sports. Why didn’t you tweet this article? Or you did and deleted it?
I am so blessed and moved by your words of encouragement to single women. Yes, fornication is sin and sometimes folks just don’t get that….. When you reminded everyone of the Word, “Deny yourself”, it was a reminder of a recent message I heard at church. Also, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and it can not doe what it wants just because I have a choice. It does get difficult at times to abstain from fornication, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Continue to stand strong in the power of His might and His Word. Thanks so much for sharing the Word and sharing about Repentance. I pray God brings you someone very special (Mighty Man of God) in His time, for His purpose and glory. Peace & Blessings;-)
Its not what she did but who she is. She should know her self worth. She is a role model which if she wasnt a christian gospel singer it may be easier to accept but even Beyonce got married 1st. Yet Beyonce is often ridiculed and her audience isn’t even geared towards the Christian community. We all sin but young lady for the future please remember you are a beautiful queen sent from God and you deserve better is all the people are saying in so many words they just said it in a mean way that’s all. God Bless.
SO UR JUST GONNA SWITCH ON THE SUBMISSION BUTTON THE DAY YOU GET MARRIED? LOL YA RIGHT. I THINK ITS GOOD TO PRACTICE BEFORE. http://www.talk-sports.net/nba/pics.aspx/Dwight_Howard [IMG]http://i1033.photobucket.com/albums/a412/PayBackForYou/submiss_zpsdbeaed98.jpg[/img]
And if you can look @ her latest ig pics you see that she is still sharing a bed with Dwight. She is quick to judge people on their sins but can’t see her sins.