Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day (in case you didn’t know and have been hiding under a rock)! Who says it has to be a sad day for the Single woman? Before you decide to curl up into the fetal position in bed and stay there until February 15, read why that may do you more harm than good. Celebrate Valentine’s Day, single and happy!
S&LF: What’s the biggest mistake single women make when it comes to enjoying/celebrating Valentine’s Day?
Dr. Samton: Comparing themselves to their coupled friends. It can be an easy trap to compare yourself to others and find ways that you seem less successful and competent. This cycle of comparison and negative self-evaluation brings feelings of hopelessness. Negative feelings can make it harder to identify and work towards personal goals.
S&LF: Can you explain the value of sharing the holiday with girlfriends or loved ones?
Dr. Samton: Most scientists and philosophers agree that human interaction and relationships bring contentment. Often our feelings might cause us to isolate when actually, being around others removes us from the cycle of self doubt and negative self evaluation.
S&LF: You mention that women should give themselves permission to experience all of their negative emotions. Explain.
Dr. Samton: It is important to experience all of your emotions-the positive and the negative. It is human to have a spectrum of emotions. Often we turn to negative behaviors, such as alcohol, smoking, or overeating to get rid of them. Allowing yourself to feel sad might prevent it from overcoming you completely.
S&LF: What are some things the single woman should avoid doing on V-Day?
Dr. Samton: Negatively comparing yourself to coupled friends, going on a date with someone you don’t really like or contacting your exes just so you are not alone.
About Dr. Samton
Dr. Julia Samton is Board Certified in Psychiatry and Neurology and is currently the Director of Manhattan Neuropsychiatric, P.C. Dr. Samton is a voluntary faculty member at New York Hospital Weill Cornell and Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City.
Through an individualized combination of psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, and behavioral counseling, Dr.Samton is dedicated to helping her patients lead more satisfying lives. At Manhattan Neuropsychiatric, Dr.Samton also provides neuropsychological testing to diagnose and treat ADHD, guide career selection, and help optimize professional and academic achievement.