By Asha Tarry, Mental Health Expert
Wedding season is underway. If you haven’t already attended someone’s nuptials, you are probably planning to take part in a celebration before summer’s end. The problem is weddings aren’t always such a celebratory event for the long time Single girl who longs to have a husband of her own. In fact, it can be an emotional nightmare. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are a few things to help nurture your needs while still allowing you to show up and be a good friend.
1. Think Before You RSVP-If you’re not quite in the mood to be a Single woman at someone else’s wedding, sort out those feelings before you accept the invitation. I know you may have been told a long time ago that being a good friend means you show up for them in their best and worst times, however, if you have any inclination that you may be an irritable, sarcastic or just plain unpleasant, don’t go! Honor yourself by being true to your feelings first. You’ll save yourself and a lot of other people the strife of dealing with any unresolved baggage you’re harboring and displaying during your friend’s joyful moment.
2. Bring Support-It’s natural to question your value when someone you know is getting married and you’ve either never been married, are separated or divorced. So if you choose to attend the ceremony, I highly recommend going with someone who knows how to have a good time–like a friend with a great sense of humor, a good conversationalist or someone who loves just loves to party (because there will be free food, cocktails and a DJ). That way, in those moments when you may be reflecting on your personal life, your guest can distract you.
3. Do A Drive By-Most of us believe that a wedding invitation requires us to attend both the wedding and the reception, but there’s no hard rule on that. When you return your RSVP, you can accept the invitation to the wedding and decline the reception without having to give an explanation. This also takes the pressure off of you without having to endure more hours of possibly an already uncomfortable situation.
4. Talk It Out-Last thing to keep in mind is that this time is about someone else’s happiness. If you are happy for them, but sad for you, share your thoughts and feelings. Talk to someone close to you who is either a neutral party or doesn’t know the bride or groom. Try to avoid sharing any unpleasant thoughts with the bride to be before the wedding or honeymoon.
Asha Tarry is a life coach and Clinical Social Work/Therapist with more than 15 years of mental health experience. She is the CEO of Behavioral Health Consulting Services. Find out more at bhconsultingservices.net.