By Jacque Reid, Editor In Chief
There is a hot new drama on Starz that just wrapped up it’s first season. It’s called Power and stars the incredibly yummy and talented Omari Hardwick as the lead character, Ghost. Ghost is so polished, smart and sophisticated, that it is difficult to accept that he is one of New York City’s biggest drug dealers. Ghost is also caught up in a dangerous love triangle with his wife, Tasha, and his high school sweetheart, Angela, who after years away is suddenly back in his life. You can watch the show for more details, but for now let’s focus on the Single girl in all of this, Angela.
Angela is the ‘good girl’ in this drama. She made it out of the bad neighborhood and went on to become a lawyer for the DA (Ghost has no idea, but he is not our focus). She also takes care of her ailing fathe. She is a nice person that wants to do things the right way. So how did such a nice girl get involved with a married man? Well, her first mistake is one many Single ladies make. She didn’t ask about his relationship status.
Amazingly after they went out on about three dates (about 3 episodes in) and she never asked if he was married or involved with someone. She just assumed because he was pursuing her and made time for her… he was Single. What left me irritated with Angela is how shocked and hurt she is when Ghost finally tells her that he is married with three children (she also thinks he is a club owner, not a drug dealer… again, you gotta watch the show), but it doesn’t matter. It is too late. She is already in love. And now Angela is a mistress, waiting on Ghost to leave his wife… which he probably will never do because his wife knows all about his drug life and where all the bodies are buried.
Not being clear on a man’s relationship status before you open your heart is not wise. It can be extremely risky for we Single ladies that are longing for companionship. Once your heart gets in it, it becomes difficult to rationalize moving on despite learning he’s involved with someone else. So, we have to decide to ask the question about status early, especially if he seems next to perfect. It’s not easy to find a successful, handsome, charismatic, attentive man. If you do, chances are someone else found him first. Save yourself some drama down the road… ask on the first date what his status is. Hopefully, he will tell you the truth.
I had a date recently with a guy, who I thought I had an incredible connection with. We knew each other for a while, but this was our first date. About an hour and a half in, I asked if he was in a relationship. To my surprise he said ‘yes’, and my heart sank. He thought I would still be willing to hang out, while he worked on his exit strategy from his 15 year relationship that produced two children. I’m not the one.
It was a huge let down for me because I felt and still feel a connection to him. But I am glad that I asked early and I am grateful that he was honest. He’s still a pig for asking me out in the first place and wasting my time, but I appreciate that he was honest. And we ladies need to be honest with ourselves. While there are some good men out there, it makes no sense to pretend he is Single unless he tells us otherwise. Ask the question on the first date, if not sooner. Don’t wait until the point when even if you find out he is committed, you are too involved to walk away.