Let’s face it. In our pursuit of finding “Mr. Right”, sometimes we Single women go above and beyond the call of duty for love, only to be disappointed when things don’t work out. It happens to all of us, even if you live your life in the lime light. Just as Howard Stern Radio Show reporter Lisa G. She chronicles her love life and in her new book, Sex, Lies and Cookies. Lisa G talks with S&LF about how she stopped making cookies for love and started putting herself first.
S&LF: What did you learn from your multiple experiences of passing up the “good guys” and getting involved with the unavailable ones?
Lisa G: I realized that the good guys aren’t the ones that create instant fireworks. They’re the ones who will run out and get you chicken soup when you’re sick, love you without makeup and for all the silly things you do.
S&LF: Despite all of your incredible success, how did bending over backwards for men who didn’t reciprocate the same effort affect your self-esteem?
Lisa G: I don’t think I realized I had turned into a doormat until I entered therapy. After I got healthier (emotionally) I realized with all the energy I was putting into the “wrong” guys, I could have built a small city. It was definitely a one-way race that I wasn’t winning.
S&LF: In your book, you talk about how you used to bake cookies for your men to make them love you. What brought you to the point where you decided to stop wasting your time (and flour) on ungrateful men and start investing those efforts into your loved ones and self instead?
Lisa G: As I write in ‘Sex Lies & Cookies’, it was all timing. I wasn’t ready to see it until one night, after leaving a party, I saw a young guy put his baby into a car seat. For some reason, it smacked me in the face and I woke up and said, “I need to slow down and get centered”.
S&LF: Do you ever feel like you missed out by following a less traditional route by pursuing your career first?
Lisa G: I never felt like I missed out. My career has been an amazing and joyful ride.
S&LF: What advice do you have for women who continue to allow relationship problems to affect their career?
Lisa G: It’s negative energy that you can’t afford. I’ve always said, “the right guy does the right thing”, meaning he’ll be there to help lift you up, not bring you down.
S&LF: What did it take for you to realize that achieving self-love was priority?
Lisa G: Great question. When you love yourself, it’s very freeing. You have a bottom line and get back more respect from co-workers, family and friends, because you know how to say “no”.
S&LF: For you, was achieving self-love a one-time epiphany that came after years of learned lessons, or is it something that you have to work on continuously?
Lisa G: It definitely came after years of tears in therapy. It was a lot of hard work, but once you make that breakthrough, you never want to go back.
S&LF: What kinds of things do you do nowadays to show yourself love?
Lisa G: I make sure I eat right, work out and get a pedicure when I can. It’s the small things that mean the most. I also play the violin in a chamber ensemble. And bake cookies, of course!
S&LF: How has your improved outlook on life and self affected your dating life?
Lisa G: It’s so much easier to see (more quickly) if someone is right for you.
S&LF: If you do not end up never getting married, will you be okay with that? What advice do you have for women on accepting and embracing singleness?
Lisa G: If I never say , “I do”, my life will not end. I’m very happy with my life and if I meet that special someone, he will be the cherry on top. I tell other single women to have fulfilled lives because that’s when you meet someone, when you’re not looking.
S&LF: How have you accepted not being a mother and how do women, who may have wanted this for themselves, accept the possibility of not having children and move forward with their lives?
Lisa G: I never had a strong desire to have children, but do love my nieces and friend’s kids. And I love babies! I think women who’ve wanted children can think of other options or use their free time volunteering. I used to be a mentor to teenagers and it was wonderful being around young people. There are many ways to give back. It makes you feel so fulfilled. No need to wallow in sorrow.
About Lisa G
Lisa G. is currently an on-air reporter for Howard 100 News, Howard Stern’s news at SiriusXM Satellite Radio.
Before The Howard Stern Show, Lisa was part of America’s first morning hip-hop morning radio show. ?The urban dream team of Lisa, Ed Lover and Dr. Dre, helped make Hot 97 a city institution in the ‘90s. Lisa’s quick wit and vivacious personality was always an intricate part of the show’s success. She interviewed some of the world’s top musical artists and celebrities, always with great insight and a sense of humor. Her lively opinions have also won her numerous awards and many appearances on network and cable TV shows.
She has been the recipient of Billboard’s Air Personality of the Year Award and Hofstra University’s Radio Hall of Fame. In 2003, she was the recipient of the Gracie Allen Award for best local radio host. The “Gracie” recognizes women who have made outstanding contributions in radio and TV.
In addition, Lisa has reported on fashion/style for ESPN2’s ‘Cold Pizza’ and has been a member of US Weekly Magazine’s fashion police, critiquing celebrities’ tasteless wardrobes with her hilarious inventive quotes.