I was speaking with a friend the other day who confessed that she was embarrassed to be single on Valentine’s Day. She said, as if she were at fault for being Single, “I really, really tried”. Despite how my friend and many other Single ladies feel, there is no reason to feel ashamed about being Single on this day of celebrating love.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a romantic and I love love. So I know first hand that spending V-Day with that special man in your life can be wonderful. But I also know that sometimes, come Feb. 14th, many of us are Single for a variety of reasons and we do feel embarrassed about it.
That embarrassment can force many of us to hide at home and cut ourselves off from friends and the rest of the world, because we don’t want people to know we don’t have a valentine. Others will humiliate themselves by lying about having amazing plans, when we know good and well we too will be hiding out of sight. And then there are those of us who will make real pans with that dude that we don’t really like, so we end up leading him on, in addition to having just an ok time for Valentine’s Day when you could have just booked a fabulous spa day or had cocktails and dinner with the girls.
Well, to be fair, that embarrassment that forces us to take such measures isn’t really our fault. We are conditioned to see marriage as the norm, so being single is often seen as being abnormal. We are taught that marriage is an accomplishment and therefore, being Single must mean failure… a failure that we ladies often blame ourselves for.
But here’s the thing…. I don’t think just getting married in itself is all that great of an accomplishment and here is why. Anybody can get married. Let’s admit it. If you really wanted to tie the knot, you probably could lower your standards and snag a man in no time. I know plenty of friends, who, due to societal pressure, biological clocks or survival instincts (you know, because he has good benefits and a pension), who said “I do” to Mr. “Girl, why???” and those friends are not happy. What they deserve and what we should all want is not just a marriage, but a good marriage… built on trust, mutual love and respect, compatibility, a healthy sex life, genuine friendship and all that good stuff that is worth waiting for.
If you haven’t found that yet, I think having the strength and confidence to wait for the right man is a tremendous accomplishment. And isn’t that worth celebrating? Furthermore, isn’t the woman who’s brave enough to wait to marry until she finds the right man for her, the purist romantic of all???
So seriously, what is there to be ashamed of if you don’t have a man this Valentine’s Day?? Don’t hide at home. Make plans… a spa day, a night out with the girls, a night in with the girls. If you want some “me” time, do that! Go to a movie or stay home and treat yourself to a bubble bath and some of your favorite movies. Do whatever you want to do. And when people ask what you are doing this Valentine’s Day, tell them the truth: LOVING ME!!!! And remember this… life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval on how you live your life. Happy Valentine’s Day!