It is hard for many people to believe that a woman would choose to never marry, even if she met her soul mate. But there are plenty of women who just don’t want to tie the knot and Denise Clark is one of them. Denise is a Single mom living a fabulous life in Florida. S&LF interviewed Denise about her choice not to marry, her dating history and advice she gives to Single women who are afraid of being alone.
S&LF: You have never been married. Why don’t you want to get married?
Denise Clark: For me, marriage has never been on my list of things to do. As a young girl, all I wanted to do was become a Broadway star. Singing and dancing was totally my thing. I knew I wanted to become a professional entertainer.
S&LF: Are you interested in being in a committed relationship?
Denise Clark: My last relationship lasted 15 years. He broke up with me after he realized I really did not want to get married. I was honest up front even though I did accept his ring . It was beautiful, 3 carats. I should not have accepted it, but I was caught up in the moment. At this time, I am not interested in a committed relationship just a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Currently that is my interest.
S&LF: Like most little girls, did you dream of a wedding and married life?
Denise Clark: As a young girl, I must say that I never had those dreams of getting married with children. Broadway was my dream!
S&LF: How do your family and friends react to your desire to stay Single?
Denise Clark: My family or friends do not get it. They are ALL married, myself and my middle sister are the only two women who have never been married in my family. My friends know me and my guy friends, in particular, think I would make a pretty awesome wife!
S&LF: How do you deal with folks who are shocked or react negatively to your desire to stay single?
Denise Clark: Society sets women up for failure with this obsession of getting and being married. I march to the beat of my own drum. I do believe that two happy people coming together to build a family is truly awesome and one day I just might take the plunge….as a senior. I would love the companionship and friendship of a man later in life. Marriage is forever. I’m not sure if I even agree with that.
S&LF: What do you enjoy most about being single?
Denise Clark: What I enjoy most about being single right now is MY FREEDOM….freedom to do me! No check-ins, no answers to give. I only have myself to tend to and after 15 years of taking care of my man, the best man I have ever dated, we may even get married, but much later in life. He even agrees, providing we are both available later. We still speak daily!
S&LF: How does your desire not to get married affect your dating life?
Denise Clark: The men I meet react the same. They think they will/can change my mind, that I have not met the right man. They eventually find that I know what I want and don’t want. The ones that are marriage-minded usually become platonic friends and the others just enjoy our time together.
S&LF: Have you ever come close to marriage?
Denise Clark: My last relationship (15 years) was the closest I have ever come to actually really contemplating marriage, but still no wedding.
S&LF: Do you worry about growing older and not having a husband to grow old with?
Denise Clark: I do not worry about growing old without a husband. I have such a wonderful group of friends, I may never get married but I will be a long way from growing old alone. I am sure that I will settle down with someone in my senior years. No worries.
S&LF: What advice would you give to women who are making decisions about relationships out of fear of being alone?
Denise Clark: My advice to women making decisions about life steeped in fear is as follows: Don’t make ANY decisions about your life based on fear. You must first LOVE/LIKE yourself before you will be able to effectively and on a long-term basis love someone else. Live life to the fullest and do you! Marriage is huge. Please be sure this is what you want and not what you think you want based on the desires of others.